How to Strengthen Your Self-esteem and that of your children

As the palms of Miami ...

I recently attended a seminar on education issues. As a mom of a toddler (and also as a teacher) I am very interested to learn about how to educate my son. Personally, I am convinced that self-esteem is the best gift I can make myself and my son, so when choosing a school system I like to be aware of the values ​​that are transmitted from the school.

The person who was in charge of the seminar said something that caught my attention, she made a nice comparison of educate the sense of values ​​with the palms of Miami ...

Miami is an area that is frequently exposed to severe storms and tornadoes. Almost everyone we have seen extremely strong images of the terrible storms with winds that hit the region, building on a rampage, dragging cars and causing extensive destruction ... but there is something that is still standing: the palm trees. Moved by the wind waving back and forth, and receive huge shock. But over the tornado, they remain strong there.

We as moms or dads, we can educate our children in such a way that when they suffer the onslaught of life, be prepared to face them. To be strong to resist, but at the same time flexible to adapt to changes and not break, to remain focused in the midst of difficulties.

The roots of the palm that remain strongly attached to the ground, are like the roots of self-esteem: self-acceptance, respect and self-worth. Self-esteem involves feeling and trust that you are able to take the helm of his life.

We are mirrors in which our children are watching

Now How do we do? Children learn by imitation, almost exclusively. We, his parents, we are mirrors for them. Young children are very good observers of everything going on around them. Sometimes they do something and then turn his face to see his mom or dad as seeking approval or disapproval, and the response obtained from the adult, this is the "image? of themselves that they're seeing in the mirror, at that particular time.

They have another look in the mirror where we are your referring to themselves to develop their personality and their own understandings. But still, still beating inside beliefs, those who received their most intimate surroundings as children. Why they are so high during the first years of life, from conception to 6 years especially.

Self-esteem develops from the quality of the relationship between our children and the most important people in the environment in which they grow. They capture the emotional state as radars in a given situation, observe the looks, read behind the words, gestures, tone of voice and body posture, and draw conclusions. Sometimes true, sometimes false, but for them all valid.

These conclusions are true or not, are those that will form beliefs about themselves. So not much matter what we say but how we say it. All that we reflect our children will be the basis of the image that will have on themselves.

The opportunity to change history

Perhaps ourselves as daughters / I do not receive the affection and attention we wanted, we needed from our parents. Our fathers in turn, received much less likely than they could give us. Each generation gives what he received as a legacy, and then makes its best efforts to the task of parenting. But either way they have done them, we choose to act from the commitment and transcend the limitations of our parents and our society.

Louise Hart says in his book The happy family, "Our children give us the opportunity to be parents who have always wished for?. In a family, self-esteem begins with how to be parents. The children can not choose how to be servants. As parents, we become aware of the significance that has to change ourselves to change our children's future by changing our beliefs and negative patterns ... They in turn forwarded the same thing to their children, and so on from one generation to another.

It can be inspiring to think that not only are you making the effort to change yourself, but you are cutting the chain, family history, to make your children a wonderful gift and invaluable.

So where do we start? By accepting you, for wanting more, respect you and take care of your needs first. These attitudes will enhance your relationship with your children, and they learn to love and to love and respect you.

One thing is very clear now for me: imitation is not only one way to learn from the kids ... the only one.

Are you willing / or make the first move? Would you change your own family history from love and acceptance? Why do not you?

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